Quelle surprise

I’m so glad you could come. It’s a lovely little party—quite a surprise. My favorite champagne flowing all evening! The cheeses! And all my favorite friends, old and new. I say “favorite,” because obviously the ones who made it here are the ones who really care. When you’ve been in the business as long as I have, you find out who your friends really are, and who your favorites really are, and sometimes you find your friends are not your favorites. Sometimes they’re someone else’s favorites. But c’est la vie. That’s what I always have said. And isn’t it true. Isn’t it true.

I have to admit I was expecting some type of surprise party like this. All week long, Inge has been acting quite coy, and when she was turning down the sheets last night, I noticed that she’d forgotten to bring up the tray with my nightcap. Oh, that Inge. That’s when I knew for sure something was going on. Too bad about her forgetting that tray, or she wouldn’t be stuck at the the Dearborns’ in Kennebunkport for the rest of the summer! But again, c’est la vie.

Speaking of surprises, I see Meredith couldn’t make it tonight, either. But, as you probably know, she has a little surprise of her own to tend to! As far as I’m concerned, Meredith looks much too young to be a grandmother. Of course, both Meredith and I were such little sun-worshippers in our heyday, but she absolutely refused to wear her tennis visor on the court, which is why, if you get a close look, you can really see the damage. But her daughter is such a sweet girl, don’t you think so, Adele? Didn’t your son date her last winter?

You know, looking back at the follies of my youth, you’d think I’d have some regrets, some things I’d like to do over. And I say, without qualifications, “None.” I wouldn’t change one thing. I mean, look at this place. Really, take a good look. Chuck and Gilda, remember when you told me that it was a waste of money to buy this house? Remember? You said that it was too soon after Robert and I split, and that I was being impulsive. Well, look at what I’ve made of it. I’ll bet there’s not a day goes by you don’t wish you’d snagged it first. What with that fishing cabin you live in now. Some may call it quaint, but I’ll call it what it is, and it’s a fishing cabin.

And Tabitha, don’t you stand there with your mouth hanging open. Though it doesn’t surprise me if it’s involuntary. What, couldn’t afford to go to the city for the work? Had to resort to that hack in Dover?

I have an absolutely fantastic idea. Let’s all retire to the patio. Hans, would you please cart out the rest of the champagne and cheeses? It’s time to take a little dip in the water. And yes, Adele, I mean you.